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The Expected Self: Kindle Edition

Are you finding life difficult and don’t know why? Are you thinking about therapy or need to know how to ‘do’ life in a way that is more relaxing and without negative feelings and emotions taking their toll? Do you or someone you know need practical help to get in touch with emotions?

This timely book ‘The Expected Self ‘ is both a practical and active book detailing the authors’s unique ‘Three Selves’ method which is full of resources and steps you can take before, during, after or, even as an alternative to face to face therapy.

In this superb, easy-to-read practical book Gareth Palmer shares:

  • valuable examples of people who have tentatively begun therapy with feelings of shame and guilt and have transformed their lives for the better.
  • practical techniques that you can apply to you’re own life to initiate positive change
  • multiple insights into why men suffer from anxiety and depression (and exercises to help overcome these conditions)
  • guidance on how those who do not identify as ‘men’ also suffer from mental ill health and how this model can work for them.
  • expert advice on how to move away from the compulsions that drive men and steer them towards a more easeful and authentic way of living
  • and much more.

    This is a unique method, and is based on what works. The ‘Three Selves’ model describes the ways in which these selves are made and continue to function. What the model explores is that these three selves are at different levels of consciousness and as such they interweave with one another.

    The author draws on his 14 years’ experience as a Manchester (UK) -based therapist working with literally hundreds of men across thousands of hours, men from all walks of life to create this practical and easy to follow manual for change. His unique and practical model of the ‘Three Selves’ has been worked through in therapy sessions with people other than those identifying as men and has been found to be effective with people from various backgrounds and is not gender specific. It demonstrates how you have developed relationships with your body, other people, your thinking and your emotions – four fundamental relationships which are unconscious reactions to your environment.

    An appreciation of the way you are that have been shaped by these largely unconscious mechanisms can be the catalyst for enormously positive changes in your life and in your relationships.

    “It’s about acknowledging and understanding that we’re not fixed entities, but fluid and evolving beings,” explains Dr. Palmer. “This book is the embodiment of a pledge I have often made with my clients – a pledge to mindfulness, to look after the individual going through this transformative process.”

    Continuing, “”Whether you’re someone who has considered therapy or someone looking to understand and navigate life’s challenges better, this book offers practical and transformative resources. The ‘Three Selves’ model has been used effectively in therapy sessions across a wide range of individuals, proving it isn’t just a theory—it works.”

    While the approach was initially developed working with men, the appeal of “The Expected Self” spans across all genders and professions. This resource is especially pertinent for professionals in their late twenties to fifties who are constantly negotiating their identities amidst societal expectations. 

    Written by a therapist who is revolutionizing the profession, “The Expected Self” is therefore more than just a therapy guide – it is a truly unconventional and crucially, proven path to self-discovery and authenticity, urging readers to step back from societal expectations and engage in the creation of a freely chosen identity.


An insightful read that provided me with an interesting way at looking at myself, in a way that I hadn’t previously done before. Not your average ‘self-help’ book. A great follow up to his first book.